I don’t cry when celebrities die. I never have.

I remember way back when I was younger and Kurt Cobain died (1994). A lot of my friends were crying. I didn’t understand how people could cry over someone they didn’t personally know. I felt sad, but I didn’t cry.

It’s been the same for everyone. But right now I am crying for Alan Rickman. He influenced me in so many ways that I don’t tell people. I don’t talk about it. He has saved my life without anyone knowing about it. He got me through depression – and no one knew.

I now understand. Sometimes people you don’t personally know can be such a part of you that you feel lost when you know they’ll never be making any new influences on your life.

Yup. I get it.

I don’t think I’ll be online much today. I’m not used to feeling this way.

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